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Women, God bless them

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Women, God bless them

Post by whitbyforklift on Sat Oct 15, 2011 11:49 am

How do you figure out women? On the 22nd of Oct I will have been married 28 years,for the life of me I cannot remember breaking 4 mirrors.
As the late great Les Dawson would have said,"I remember it like it was yesterday, I wish it was tomorrow. Iwould cancel it".
Someone once said marrage is an institution,but who wants to live in an institution.
There are tons more of these sayings. All funny and all wrong.I would not change one minute of it.
My best man was none other than Witchfinder,one of the founders of this forum.
So all things considered the world would be a worse place without them (Mrs Thatcher not counted).
If there is one.GOD BLESS THEM ALL. lol!
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Re: Women, God bless them

Post by GreatNPowerfulOz on Sat Oct 15, 2011 1:32 pm

married almost 22 years myself...I can offer no advice on women other than to not expect them to think in any way resembling your own thinking.
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Re: Women, God bless them

Post by astra on Sat Oct 15, 2011 5:52 pm

Don't speak before you think, just don't speak! bounce
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Re: Women, God bless them

Post by gator on Fri Oct 21, 2011 4:50 am

28 years? What a bunch of amateurs.  Razz Mrs. Gator and I have made 43 trips around the sun as man and wife and look forward to a great many more.
 
but Mr. Forklift, women were put on this earth, not to be figured out but to be enjoyed.
 
Ever hear that oldie about the world's shortest book? It's 328 empty pages and the title is What Men Know About Women.
 
Jeff Foxworthy has a saying that is probably old history stuff down in the south and it has a large grain of truth to it - If Mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.
 
Got that? It has been known to work.
 
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Re: Women, God bless them

Post by ROB on Fri Oct 21, 2011 7:18 am

gator wrote:
If Mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.

“It is better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and an angry woman” (Proverbs 21:19).

“A continual dropping in a very rainy day and a contentious woman are alike” (Proverbs 27:15).
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Re: Women, God bless them

Post by astra on Fri Oct 21, 2011 8:49 pm

I treat Water Gas and electricity like they are women - WARILY
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Re: Women, God bless them

Post by whitbyforklift on Thu Nov 17, 2011 9:52 pm

Very Happy I once heard it said that a woman is like a hurracane.
When she comes she nearly lifts the roof.
When she goes she takes the house and the car.
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Re: Women, God bless them

Post by jackthelad on Sat Nov 19, 2011 4:36 pm

Natalie Woods death 30 years ago was deemed as an accident, now the Captain of Robert Wagner's yacht says they all lied about what had happened. Police have opened up the case again, but say Wagner is not a suspect. After hearing what the captain says, he is the only suspect, he refused to use the searchlight on the yacht to search the water, after she had supposedly fallen overboard. He also refused them to inform the authorities about her going into the water. The captain also goes on to say Wagner and Natalie had been falling out before she went overboard. They were instructed by Wagner to what to say about the incident, i am curious to find out why the captain is saying this after 30 years. How long was it before he stopped working for Wagner, that is if he is no longer working for him. Strange to develop a conscience after all this time, i know she drowned, but their story sounded a bit fishy to me at the time.
Now then, has any one any opinions about this, i am curious to see what other people think. Do you think Wagner will be serving time this time next year.


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Re: Women, God bless them

Post by oftenwrong on Sat Nov 19, 2011 6:11 pm

Perhaps some Publisher has convinced Captain Dennis Davern that there could be a lucrative book and film contract on this 30th. anniversary of the tragedy.
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Re: Women, God bless them

Post by jackthelad on Tue Feb 07, 2012 11:42 am

I suppose it will be ok to use this thread for what i have to say, it's about women.

I was reading in this mornings paper about American football, a league played by women only. While millions tuned into the superbowl to watch the Giants and the Patriots, the L A Temptations and the Philadelphia Passions was playing in Las Vegas. The L A Temptations won, what was so unusual was they were both ladies teams, but it was there attire that interested me. Knickers, bra, knee pads and helmets, with what looked like cotton wool shoulder pads, more skin showing than what you would see in a nudist colony. They made their male counterparts look like a bunch of wimps, couldn't see the Giants and Patriots taking to field dressed like that. Just like our own ladies football and rugby teams, the ladies play harder than the men. No rolling round on the ground when they have been fouled, holding their legs or whatever, they get back up and get stuck in. I have never been interested in watching American football, always thought it a game for wimps and sissies, but i think i would love to see the women play. They looked great in their team kits in the pictures in the newspaper.
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Re: Women, God bless them

Post by jackthelad on Tue Feb 07, 2012 12:52 pm

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Re: Women, God bless them

Post by moonbeam on Tue Feb 07, 2012 3:11 pm

LOL Jack. I'd have watched that myself if I'd known. Generally speaking, I don't watch sports other than the Olympics, but that sounds entertaining.

Oh, and do you really think men are any easier to figure out?


Last edited by moonbeam on Tue Feb 07, 2012 3:35 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Re: Women, God bless them

Post by astra on Tue Feb 07, 2012 3:22 pm

looking at the picture, Jack, these wummin are smiling!! Playing a SPORT and ENJOYING THEMSELVES!! What on earth can that be about?


If the gladiators on the field are enjoying themselves, then those watching have to be getting their moneys worth!

Football? Men?? bunch of Primulas (Long since they was Pansies!)
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Re: Women, God bless them

Post by Shirina on Tue Feb 07, 2012 9:46 pm

the L A Temptations and the Philadelphia Passions
What horrible names for their teams. The Temptations? Seriously?

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Re: Women, God bless them

Post by moonbeam on Tue Feb 07, 2012 11:55 pm

Shirina, I agree the names are rather ridiculous. However, I think they're simply playing to the expectations of their gender. After all, aren't women tempting? And passionate? Cool


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Re: Women, God bless them

Post by Shirina on Wed Feb 08, 2012 1:34 am

After all, aren't women tempting? And passionate?
Certainly, but so are men.

Those names just play into female stereotypes. You wouldn't see a man's football team called the Philadelphia Jigalos or the New York Studs. Very Happy

Most professional sports teams took their names from a characteristic of their cities. For instance, Pittsburgh Steelers, Miami Dolphins, or New England Patriots.

The New York Dodgers (baseball, I know) actually took their name from back in the days when street cars still ran; people and cars were always having to dodge them.

Now you'll be ready just in case you get a spot on Jeopardy and they ask that question. Cool
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Re: Women, God bless them

Post by ROB on Wed Feb 08, 2012 6:32 am


New York Dodgers? Don’t let an old Brooklyn Dodgers’ fan hear you say that! But that in fact is how they got the name. Brooklynites, not New Yorkers, had to dodge street cars on their way to Ebbets Field, the home of their beloved Dodgers.

The New York Giants (National League) and the New York Yankees (American League) were the “official” New York teams. Brooklyn, a New York borough/county (five boroughs counties, one city) was annexed to The City long after establishing its own identity.

Male team names often reflect teams’ origins, The Los Angeles Lakers were originally the Minneapolis Lakers (Minnesota, the Land of a Thousand Lakes), the Utah Jazz were originally the New Orleans Jazz, the Dallas Mavericks, well, a maverick is a steer, the San Francisco 49ers, California Gold Rush, 1849, etc.

There’s another interesting type of male team name, a type that reflects men’s desire to be tough and cool: Oakland Raiders (Pirates), Carolina Cougars, Jacksonville Jaguars (take that, little big cougar cat), Detroit Lions (take that, South American cat), Cincinnati Bengals (take that, savannah cat), the co-resident to the Detroit Lions (football), the Detroit Tigers (baseball), and more. Curiously, Detroit’s basketball team is the Detroit Pistons. Motor City, or Motown.

I wonder how the L.A. Temptations feel about their team name? What would women’s teams like to be called?
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Re: Women, God bless them

Post by Shirina on Wed Feb 08, 2012 6:58 am

New York Dodgers? Don’t let an old Brooklyn Dodgers’ fan hear you say that!
LOL! Yes, it is indeed Brooklyn. I thought "New York" sounded wrong.
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Re: Women, God bless them

Post by jackthelad on Wed Feb 08, 2012 12:13 pm

Now't wrong with being called Temptations or Passions, all the ladies looked very tempting to me, and a bet they play with a passion too. Now what's this, being called cougars, jaguars, lions, and tigers. I know men think they are animals, but it all sounds a bit catty to me.
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Re: Women, God bless them

Post by moonbeam on Wed Feb 08, 2012 2:17 pm

I could never be a cougar, myself. Wink


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Re: Women, God bless them

Post by ROB on Wed Feb 08, 2012 2:22 pm


Don't tigers eat cougars?
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Re: Women, God bless them

Post by jackthelad on Wed Feb 08, 2012 2:41 pm

The women that are called cougars are middle aged, (you know, getting on a bit). Now my missus is 77 years old, never been a cougar, always a little pussy cat. Tiger's are found in India and Sumatra, cougar's (puma's) are found in North America, i think you would find that the tiger would starve if it relied on eating cougar's.
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Re: Women, God bless them

Post by moonbeam on Wed Feb 08, 2012 2:57 pm

More specifically, Jack, cougars are older women who like younger men.



In actuality though, I love cougars. There is a place a couple of hours south of me that rescues big cats. These are former "actor" animals, or illegal pets that were abandoned or seized. They had lions, tigers, ligers (at the time), lynx, bobcats- and cougars. The cougars would allow the owners to 'scritch' them like you would a house cat and they would purr like one too. That was very cool to listen to.


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Re: Women, God bless them

Post by jackthelad on Wed Feb 08, 2012 3:09 pm

Moonbeam says.
More specifically, Jack, cougars are older women who like younger men.

A bit different to young women that like rich old men then. Are these female cougars rich.
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Re: Women, God bless them

Post by jackthelad on Wed Feb 08, 2012 3:23 pm

Florence Green as just died, two weeks short of her 111 birthday, she must be the last surviver of World War One, she served in the then newly established Womens Royal Air Force. She might not have been a hotshot pilot, but did deserve a bit more recognition, her passing was hidden in the middle pages of the newspaper. They say old soldiers don't die, they just fade away, well i believe in her case, she should not have faded away in the middle pages, but gone out with a bang on the front page. Other old male world war one veterans have always made the front page, and TV, but not poor Florence.
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Re: Women, God bless them

Post by moonbeam on Wed Feb 08, 2012 3:45 pm

jackthelad wrote:A bit different to young women that like rich old men then. Are these female cougars rich.
I would suppose some are. Some probably just prefer to have eye candy on their arms, just as men do. Personally, I'm way more interested in being treated well than what you can offer me financially. Looks are not *completely* unimportant, but the better I'm treated, the more attractive a man becomes, regardless of his actual physical appearance.


jackthelad wrote:Florence Green as just died, two weeks short of her 111 birthday, she must be the last surviver of World War One, she served in the then newly established Womens Royal Air Force. She might not have been a hotshot pilot, but did deserve a bit more recognition, her passing was hidden in the middle pages of the newspaper. They say old soldiers don't die, they just fade away, well i believe in her case, she should not have faded away in the middle pages, but gone out with a bang on the front page. Other old male world war one veterans have always made the front page, and TV, but not poor Florence.
I'd have to agree with you there, Jack.


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Re: Women, God bless them

Post by astra on Sun Jul 08, 2012 9:53 pm

Now, just to bring this thread back into vogue,

I would like to express my extreme gratitude and thanks to the lady (Sue Barker) who



Blew yon GO COMPARE guy out of his annoying boots! Very Happy Twisted Evil

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Re: Women, God bless them

Post by astra on Sun Jul 08, 2012 10:02 pm

Are these female cougars rich.


In my younger days Jack, LBM - Loooong Before Marriage, I found them to be

Very good

Very thankful

and kept their mouths closed in company - did not broadcast their 'exploit'
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Re: Women, God bless them

Post by oftenwrong on Sun Jul 08, 2012 11:24 pm

I remember upon being assigned a room in Single Officers Quarters on military service with 2nd. TAF in Germany, discovering the following message written directly upon the inside of a drawer ....

While you're here make the acquaintance of Fraulein ***** who works in the Cookhouse. She's rather naughty and well over 40, so she won't yell, she won't tell, and is grateful as well.
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Re: Women, God bless them

Post by Stox 16 on Wed Oct 31, 2012 3:00 pm

after being married 3 times I think I can say I have no understanding of the female sex or they have no understanding of me. ha ha
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Re: Women, God bless them

Post by oftenwrong on Wed Oct 31, 2012 5:25 pm

Numbers 2 and 3 confirm the victory of optimism over experience.
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Re: Women, God bless them

Post by ROB on Wed Oct 31, 2012 5:57 pm

Stox 16 wrote:
after being married 3 times I think I can say I have no understanding of the female sex or they have no understanding of me. ha ha

Once a wise man learns that that’s the way it is, he can occasionally enjoy the mystery amidst the constant aggravation and agony.
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Re: Women, God bless them

Post by oftenwrong on Sat Mar 19, 2016 5:56 pm

A triumph of experience over youth

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Re: Women, God bless them

Post by starlight07 on Sat Jun 18, 2016 11:11 pm

My husband is not a mystery to figure out... I know what makes him tick. Only 3 years to our marriage... seems forever long though.
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Re: Women, God bless them

Post by boatlady on Sun Jun 19, 2016 10:37 am

Forever in a good way, I hope?
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Re: Women, God bless them

Post by trevorw2539 on Sun Jun 19, 2016 1:06 pm

Epitaph to a foul-tempered wife.

Should she have gone to realms above,
Farewell to peace and heavenly love.
But if she's sought the lower level,
The Lord have mercy on the Devil. OOOOP'S


After two goes in 77 years, I'll stay on my own. Unless......someone knows a forty year old, slim, redheaded, woman seeking to slave for a man. Shocked
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Re: Women, God bless them

Post by oftenwrong on Sun Jun 19, 2016 5:26 pm

Slightly non-PC there, Poacher?
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Re: Women, God bless them

Post by boatlady on Sun Jun 19, 2016 6:25 pm

Marriage doesn't work out for everyone, sadly - when it does there's no better institution
(Waiting now for the jokes about who wants to live in an institution lol! )
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Re: Women, God bless them

Post by trevorw2539 on Sun Jun 19, 2016 7:12 pm

oftenwrong wrote:Slightly non-PC there, Poacher?
Politeness and courtesy. Ah, those were the days when a man would treat a lady with courtesy, and a lady wouldn't tell him to .... of, but politely decline his offer.

Politically Correct? Tell that epitaph in a night club, in the right atmosphere, and you might get a laugh. To the same audience on the High Street, nothing. In a political rally, horror.
Treating human beings as human beings is politically correct. Treating men and women the same is politically correct. Political correctness has gone beserk. Can I tell a joke about a priest and be politically correct, and not get excommunicated? Can a Priest castigate his congregation for their sin and be politically correct and not have an egg thrown at him?

I'm too old for political correctness. Let's hope at the crematorium they remember to be politically correct and announce me as an ex agnostic, ex atheist, with leanings to a Confucian form of Taoist Buddhism and Tanakh teaching. That'll teach them Political correctness. Wink

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