Soaps and lather

[b]The good lady and myself watch only two soaps.Corrie and Emerdale.
Looking at TV mags I have confirmed what I have suspected.
The people who run these progs take us for idiots?(maybe we are for watching)
What I am getting at is first names of characters.
You never find anyone with the same name because we are too thick to understand that in the real world,
people do share same names.Yes on the odd occasion you get Bet and Betty.How many people know someone called Declon?
When a new character arrives you can bet a pound to a lump of s--t that they will have a name we have never heard of before because
they are running out.Must admit calling the Dingles biblical names was clever.
Remember the first and best Star Trek?(ok not a soap)If a new character was beamed down to a planet along with (as if)the captain,The first officer,the doctor and of course a eye candy for Kirk to snog,you knew that the new man was going to be killed.
Star date 4563 off to bed.

When can we expect a new soap character to be named whitbyforklift?

I've noticed (in passing the TV!) that the soaps have no "backing"music""
This helps my hearing, as the hearing aid picks up all extranious noises


Why is it that when you put on Documentaries like Coast etc, that they just HAVE to have some clarty eeeyukky myoooooozak in the supposed background. This bu88ers up the hearing aid no end! and I miss all the narative so backed!

I have complained to BBC AND ITV and told them that if they are worried about paying off these "myoosishuns" then make them back the soaps to keep their jobs!


Not had a reply. Not had a reply from the Solar Panel company either!

Any day now Oftenwrong.I am about to forklift the cover on all the soaps.
Telling you first.(listen) It is all fiction, made up, not true.These people are not real.By the way Santa C oh forget it.

You mean Santa Cameron!!


Right?

How's that Aussie soap Neighbours... still broadcast in the UK?

What is it about that soap that captured your imagination... that is, aside from the sunshine, large homes on 1/4 acre land blocks, driveways for the large sedan...

True Blue wrote:How's that Aussie soap Neighbours... still broadcast in the UK?

What is it about that soap that captured your imagination... that is, aside from the sunshine, large homes on 1/4 acre land blocks, driveways for the large sedan...

..... and a similar attitude to anything resembling Culture as may be found in Somalia.

oftenwrong wrote:

True Blue wrote:How's that Aussie soap Neighbours... still broadcast in the UK?

What is it about that soap that captured your imagination... that is, aside from the sunshine, large homes on 1/4 acre land blocks, driveways for the large sedan...

..... and a similar attitude to anything resembling Culture as may be found in Somalia.

That's a bit harsh on Somalians don't you think? Speaking of Aussie Culcha, how's our singing budgie Kylie Minogue going? Is she still hip of the pops over there?

Is she the woman who speaks English with that strange accent...?

how's our singing budgie Kylie Minogue going? Is she still hip of the pops over there?

Not only do we have to suffer Neighbours and Home and Away, we have to suffer two Minogue's, Kylie and her sister Dannie, plus Jason Donovan. All rejects off Neighbours, how they got through immigration controll defies all logic.
The governments certainly are a bit lax on who they let in, it's that bloody May woman again surely.

Well!


Kylie's budgie can sit on my perch and sing (screech) all it wants!!





CUT THE NAILS FIRST THOUGH!!!

Phil Hornby wrote:Is she the woman who speaks English with that strange accent...?

Yeah... but it never was strange until... dum, da dum, dum... she went to the UK. :affraid:

Must be something in the water over there.

jackthelad wrote:how's our singing budgie Kylie Minogue going? Is she still hip of the pops over there?

Not only do we have to suffer Neighbours and Home and Away, we have to suffer two Minogue's, Kylie and her sister Dannie, plus Jason Donovan.

Geez, Home and Away as well? Sorry about that chum. But at least you lot have Rolf Harris and Dame Edna to lighten the load eh?

on one of the sattelite channels we have Rescue as well! All them funny accents and always a guy like Alf in the progs.

True Blue wrote:

Phil Hornby wrote:Is she the woman who speaks English with that strange accent...?

Yeah... but it never was strange until... dum, da dum, dum... she went to the UK. :affraid:

Must be something in the water over there.

Look, moosh - we all speak proper 'ere, geddit? Why else would that splendid cultural icon Sir Les Patterson have been so attracted to these shores...?

I always thought Sir Les was a Dame, didn't you possums, and thought Rolf Harris was a bit queer, always singing about two little boys, and tie his kangeroo down. The Welsh didn't need to tie there sheep down that is why they wear wellingtons.
Long time since the Flying Doctors was on the TV, you can understand that though, the price of aviation fuel.

I think you should immediately re-think your cruel jibe about the Welsh.

It was nowhere near rude enough...

Especially when you look at the New South Welsh!

Must I?

The storyline in Corrie about Smicheal and his ashes.
The ashes were in a metal vase.
Some years ago my sister in law received her dogs ashes in a lovely
wooden box with the dogs name on a brass plate.
A year later they received their and my wifes mothers ashes in a plastic sweet jar.
Five years later I got my mothers ashes in the type of container you get in a takeaway.Makes you think.

8 weeks ago the wooden box for dog's ashes was priced at over £400! A few years ago it was £150 and it was the latter price I paid for Axel's ashes to be returned to me. Inflation or profiteering. Ain't capitalism wonderful!

So Frank Foster is dead.(Corrie)
So the police are investigating.
As this is fiction I wonder what will happen?
Will they make sure they have got the right pearson,like the police do in real life.
Or will they make the police look like bufoons as is usual in soaps.
Who will be arrested.Half the street then released as usual.
Why do we watch such rubbish?
We could do far better watching real stuff like Jeremy Kyle.
Then I suppose it saves lifting the lace curtains.
Life goes on.

The police were buffoons, but they got the right person.

Why are the police so awful and stupid in soaps? It's not just our soaps - they're equally bad in Neighbours too.

Sadly, soaps are all about attracting an audience. They do this by appealing to our basest opinions and suspicions. People want to believe the police are inept, at best, and corrupt at worst.