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Favourite 'tweets'
by Ivan Thu Jan 26, 2012 5:23 pm
First topic message reminder :
For those of us who use 'Twitter', I thought it might be worth having a thread to share some of the interesting tweets we come across. Here are three that I've read today:-
Nick Clegg says "families are at boiling point". Well you put the gas under them, Clegg!
When a man talks dirty to a woman its sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man its $3.95 a minute.
No income tax, no VAT
No points last week off Man City
The future’s grim, he's looking pale
Harry Redknapp’s off to jail.
For those of us who use 'Twitter', I thought it might be worth having a thread to share some of the interesting tweets we come across. Here are three that I've read today:-
Nick Clegg says "families are at boiling point". Well you put the gas under them, Clegg!
When a man talks dirty to a woman its sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man its $3.95 a minute.
No income tax, no VAT
No points last week off Man City
The future’s grim, he's looking pale
Harry Redknapp’s off to jail.
Ivan- Administrator (Correspondence & Recruitment)
- Posts : 7321
Join date : 2011-10-07
Location : West Sussex, UK -
Re: Favourite 'tweets'
by oftenwrong Thu Nov 30, 2017 10:35 am
Today's twitter poll: How would you feel about the idea of US President @realDonaldTrump coming on an official visit to the UK?
8%Delighted
15%Accepting
21%A bit uncomfortable
56%Horrified
8%Delighted
15%Accepting
21%A bit uncomfortable
56%Horrified
oftenwrong- Sage
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Re: Favourite 'tweets'
by Ivan Sat Dec 02, 2017 3:56 pm
“England should have no problem with a small footballing country like Panama. Hell, it’ll be as easy as playing Iceland.” (David Schneider)
Jacob Rees Mogg apparently met with Steve Bannon to discuss how conservative movements can win in Britain. A man from the 1800s meeting one from the 1940s.
In 2006, Damian Green told a civil servant to get “as much dirt on the Labour Party, the government, as possible” and encouraged leaks of Home Office documents. With the typical Tory sense of entitlement, he doesn't like it now when his dirt gets exposed.
The huge losses of the Olympic stadium are a legacy to just how inept a politician Boris Johnson is.
I believe Ann Coulter is a dangerous far-right extremist who eats babies. I have no evidence for the baby-eating bit, but I have looked for no evidence to refute it, so it must be true. That’s Ann Coulter's level of debate.
Don’t tell Trump that Jesus was a brown-skinned man from the Middle East whose family was desperately searching for shelter at Christmas and then became migrants to escape Herod's slaughter.
“Newspapers tell us Brexit is a good idea but simultaneously insist we've got to pay attention to a senior banker telling us that Corbyn could be worse than Brexit.” (James O’Brien)
The world’s largest lithium battery has been activated in Australia, and can reportedly power an iPhone for up to 40 minutes.
I thought ironing was the most boring way to pass the time, but only until I tried listening to a Theresa May speech.
“I should be given a job as a betting tipster. I'd bankrupt the country quicker than any Brexit.” (Mark Steel)
Scientists announce a huge breakthrough in migraine relief, in a process called “staying off Twitter for two weeks”.
Brits don’t want Trump here because we don't have a vacancy in the UK for an overprivileged, floppy-haired, xenophobic arsehole. That position is already taken by Boris Johnson.
“I’m a gangsta granny punching above my gene pool in this job.” (Angela Rayner)
Military men get key Zimbabwe cabinet jobs and remain adamant that it definitely wasn’t a coup.
If Damian Green goes, so will David Davis? Wow, 2 for 1; I thought Black Friday was last week?
Will Meghan Markle get UK citizenship? No chance. Partners need to show they can support their spouse "without recourse to public funds".
The UK is thrown into chaos by plunging temperatures and falling snow in phenomenon meteorologists describe as “winter”.
I recall Jeremy Paxman interviewing Ann Coulter about a book she wrote. His first question was: "Well, I've read the first chapter, does it get better?"
RBS says it will do everything it can to support 680 staff being made redundant, including personal loans at 74.3% APR.
“Many who voted for Brexit thought they were getting a new Audi and have ended up getting something different. It’s a clapped-out old banger and it looks like it might break down. And there should be nothing inevitable about you having to buy that car that’s not going anywhere.” (Chuka Umunna)
Jacob Rees Mogg apparently met with Steve Bannon to discuss how conservative movements can win in Britain. A man from the 1800s meeting one from the 1940s.
In 2006, Damian Green told a civil servant to get “as much dirt on the Labour Party, the government, as possible” and encouraged leaks of Home Office documents. With the typical Tory sense of entitlement, he doesn't like it now when his dirt gets exposed.
The huge losses of the Olympic stadium are a legacy to just how inept a politician Boris Johnson is.
I believe Ann Coulter is a dangerous far-right extremist who eats babies. I have no evidence for the baby-eating bit, but I have looked for no evidence to refute it, so it must be true. That’s Ann Coulter's level of debate.
Don’t tell Trump that Jesus was a brown-skinned man from the Middle East whose family was desperately searching for shelter at Christmas and then became migrants to escape Herod's slaughter.
“Newspapers tell us Brexit is a good idea but simultaneously insist we've got to pay attention to a senior banker telling us that Corbyn could be worse than Brexit.” (James O’Brien)
The world’s largest lithium battery has been activated in Australia, and can reportedly power an iPhone for up to 40 minutes.
I thought ironing was the most boring way to pass the time, but only until I tried listening to a Theresa May speech.
“I should be given a job as a betting tipster. I'd bankrupt the country quicker than any Brexit.” (Mark Steel)
Scientists announce a huge breakthrough in migraine relief, in a process called “staying off Twitter for two weeks”.
Brits don’t want Trump here because we don't have a vacancy in the UK for an overprivileged, floppy-haired, xenophobic arsehole. That position is already taken by Boris Johnson.
“I’m a gangsta granny punching above my gene pool in this job.” (Angela Rayner)
Military men get key Zimbabwe cabinet jobs and remain adamant that it definitely wasn’t a coup.
If Damian Green goes, so will David Davis? Wow, 2 for 1; I thought Black Friday was last week?
Will Meghan Markle get UK citizenship? No chance. Partners need to show they can support their spouse "without recourse to public funds".
The UK is thrown into chaos by plunging temperatures and falling snow in phenomenon meteorologists describe as “winter”.
I recall Jeremy Paxman interviewing Ann Coulter about a book she wrote. His first question was: "Well, I've read the first chapter, does it get better?"
RBS says it will do everything it can to support 680 staff being made redundant, including personal loans at 74.3% APR.
“Many who voted for Brexit thought they were getting a new Audi and have ended up getting something different. It’s a clapped-out old banger and it looks like it might break down. And there should be nothing inevitable about you having to buy that car that’s not going anywhere.” (Chuka Umunna)
Ivan- Administrator (Correspondence & Recruitment)
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Join date : 2011-10-07
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Re: Favourite 'tweets'
by Ivan Tue Dec 05, 2017 8:31 pm
Alan Milburn on Theresa May: “The worst position in politics is to set out a proposition that you’re going to heal social divisions and then do nothing about it.”
Nigel Farage and Jacob Rees-Mogg were on ‘Marr’ together because BBC impartiality rules state that equal airtime must be given to views from the 1930s and the 1830s.
The number of UK teenagers in part-time jobs is falling because if they want positions that hardly bring in any money, they need to work full-time.
"Article 50 triggered, snap election, broken government. Who are the authors of this Tory tragedy?" (Keir Starmer)
Either Damian Green should be sacked for harassing a young woman, or he should be sacked for having pornography on his computer at work, or he should be sacked for negligence in allowing someone else to misuse a computer which presumably contains government documents.
“The will of the people is not something immutable. People can change their mind if the circumstances change.” (Tony Blair)
The Tory mantra is that hard work is the way out of poverty, yet the hardest working people in the UK are those trapped on poverty wages, working all hours trying to make ends meet.
Rosindell, Duncan Smith, Paterson, Lawson, Redwood, Johnson, Rees-Mogg, Davis, Gove. To use the Groucho Marx argument, why should I resign from a club if these people are advocating it?
"We're bringing Christmas back. Christmas is back. Bigger and better than ever before. We're bringing Christmas back. And we say it now with pride." (Donald Trump)
If you put an offer on a house and then the surveyor says it’s going to fall down, would you still go ahead?
“I’ve done more to stop the hate-mongering far-right than anyone” says the man who brought out the hate-mongering, far-right ‘Breaking Point’ poster.
This Tory government is full of people who would be sacked from real jobs. Such as work porn peddler Damian Green, CV liar Iain Duncan Smith, reckless and incompetent Boris Johnson, lazy and clueless David Davis, and Theresa May who comprehensively failed her probationary period.
“Some people go to bed starving. Some people go to sleep homeless. Some people go to bed lonely. Some people are bed bound. Some people go to bed with mental health issues. Tories go to their beds and sleep like babies. Cruel, cruel, cruel.” (Neville Southall)
When the history of Brexit is written, the BBC will go down as its biggest facilitator. It made household names of Nigel Farage, Boris Johnson and Jacob Rees-Mogg and thus legitimised their extreme and very nasty views.
“The Irish are using Brexit to reunite Ireland by stealth, which is why they called a referendum in the UK in June 2016 and then insisted on the UK government going for a hard Brexit.” (David Schneider)
Had Profumo been in this government, he wouldn't have had to resign over his affair with Christine Keeler. Lying to Parliament is common nowadays, risking national security doesn't prevent a cabinet recall, and endangering British citizens abroad doesn't even incur an admonition.
Nigel Farage and Jacob Rees-Mogg were on ‘Marr’ together because BBC impartiality rules state that equal airtime must be given to views from the 1930s and the 1830s.
The number of UK teenagers in part-time jobs is falling because if they want positions that hardly bring in any money, they need to work full-time.
"Article 50 triggered, snap election, broken government. Who are the authors of this Tory tragedy?" (Keir Starmer)
Either Damian Green should be sacked for harassing a young woman, or he should be sacked for having pornography on his computer at work, or he should be sacked for negligence in allowing someone else to misuse a computer which presumably contains government documents.
“The will of the people is not something immutable. People can change their mind if the circumstances change.” (Tony Blair)
The Tory mantra is that hard work is the way out of poverty, yet the hardest working people in the UK are those trapped on poverty wages, working all hours trying to make ends meet.
Rosindell, Duncan Smith, Paterson, Lawson, Redwood, Johnson, Rees-Mogg, Davis, Gove. To use the Groucho Marx argument, why should I resign from a club if these people are advocating it?
"We're bringing Christmas back. Christmas is back. Bigger and better than ever before. We're bringing Christmas back. And we say it now with pride." (Donald Trump)
If you put an offer on a house and then the surveyor says it’s going to fall down, would you still go ahead?
“I’ve done more to stop the hate-mongering far-right than anyone” says the man who brought out the hate-mongering, far-right ‘Breaking Point’ poster.
This Tory government is full of people who would be sacked from real jobs. Such as work porn peddler Damian Green, CV liar Iain Duncan Smith, reckless and incompetent Boris Johnson, lazy and clueless David Davis, and Theresa May who comprehensively failed her probationary period.
“Some people go to bed starving. Some people go to sleep homeless. Some people go to bed lonely. Some people are bed bound. Some people go to bed with mental health issues. Tories go to their beds and sleep like babies. Cruel, cruel, cruel.” (Neville Southall)
When the history of Brexit is written, the BBC will go down as its biggest facilitator. It made household names of Nigel Farage, Boris Johnson and Jacob Rees-Mogg and thus legitimised their extreme and very nasty views.
“The Irish are using Brexit to reunite Ireland by stealth, which is why they called a referendum in the UK in June 2016 and then insisted on the UK government going for a hard Brexit.” (David Schneider)
Had Profumo been in this government, he wouldn't have had to resign over his affair with Christine Keeler. Lying to Parliament is common nowadays, risking national security doesn't prevent a cabinet recall, and endangering British citizens abroad doesn't even incur an admonition.
Ivan- Administrator (Correspondence & Recruitment)
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Join date : 2011-10-07
Location : West Sussex, UK -
Re: Favourite 'tweets'
by Ivan Thu Dec 07, 2017 12:28 am
“UK productivity rates are low because more disabled people are in work.” (Philip Hammond)
Russians are banned from representing their country at the Winter Olympics, although they’ll still be allowed to participate in the next US elections.
David Davis:-
“We are carrying out an extensive programme of sectoral analysis on the key factors that affect our negotiations with the EU.” (Dec 2016)
“We’ve got 50, nearly 60, sectoral analyses already done.” (June 2017)
“I haven’t looked at the impact of Brexit at all.” (Dec 2017)
Theresa May stood in for Arlene Foster at ‘Prime Minister’s Questions’ this week.
"We need to deliver the benefits of Brexit to the poorest in our nation", says Jacob Rees-Mogg. There aren't any benefits to share, and a great many of the poorest in our nation are poor because of Tories like him.
“Multimillionaire Brexiters, please remind me once again what first attracted you to leaving an EU that’s clamping down on tax havens?” (David Schneider)
Jacob Rees-Mogg believes that Twitter is an unimportant medium. He much prefers parchment.
“Theresa May’s ludicrous power grab in calling a snap general election not only destroyed the Tory majority, but handed extreme power to a bunch of bowler hat wearing relics who’re still fighting a 300-year-old war.” (Charlie Mullins, Tory donor)
David Davis, age 68:-
“I've done my homework but can't hand it in, in case you show it to other students.”
“I've done my homework, you still can't see it, but I deserve an A grade.”
“OK, not all my homework exists, but the bits that do are great, honest.”
“I haven't done any homework.”
A plot to blow up Downing Street with Theresa May inside was foiled by the authorities. However they were unsuccessful in preventing the whole government being abducted by a Northern Irish group with terror links.
“I'm trying to write a script in a hotel in Hull, it’s 9am and I've already heard Elton John's ‘Step Into Christmas’ twice. I'm heading to the Humber Bridge to jump off.” (Mark Steel)
“I tend to try and put a satirical spin on events, but when you see the deceit, the incompetence, the unabashed betrayal of all our futures by David Davis, what can you say?” (David Schneider)
“So Jared Kushner was essentially working for Israel, Michael Flynn was working for Turkey, Paul Manafort was working for Ukraine, and Donald Trump was working for Russia. But hey, ‘America First’, right?” (Keith Boykin, CNN)
Russians are banned from representing their country at the Winter Olympics, although they’ll still be allowed to participate in the next US elections.
David Davis:-
“We are carrying out an extensive programme of sectoral analysis on the key factors that affect our negotiations with the EU.” (Dec 2016)
“We’ve got 50, nearly 60, sectoral analyses already done.” (June 2017)
“I haven’t looked at the impact of Brexit at all.” (Dec 2017)
Theresa May stood in for Arlene Foster at ‘Prime Minister’s Questions’ this week.
"We need to deliver the benefits of Brexit to the poorest in our nation", says Jacob Rees-Mogg. There aren't any benefits to share, and a great many of the poorest in our nation are poor because of Tories like him.
“Multimillionaire Brexiters, please remind me once again what first attracted you to leaving an EU that’s clamping down on tax havens?” (David Schneider)
Jacob Rees-Mogg believes that Twitter is an unimportant medium. He much prefers parchment.
“Theresa May’s ludicrous power grab in calling a snap general election not only destroyed the Tory majority, but handed extreme power to a bunch of bowler hat wearing relics who’re still fighting a 300-year-old war.” (Charlie Mullins, Tory donor)
David Davis, age 68:-
“I've done my homework but can't hand it in, in case you show it to other students.”
“I've done my homework, you still can't see it, but I deserve an A grade.”
“OK, not all my homework exists, but the bits that do are great, honest.”
“I haven't done any homework.”
A plot to blow up Downing Street with Theresa May inside was foiled by the authorities. However they were unsuccessful in preventing the whole government being abducted by a Northern Irish group with terror links.
“I'm trying to write a script in a hotel in Hull, it’s 9am and I've already heard Elton John's ‘Step Into Christmas’ twice. I'm heading to the Humber Bridge to jump off.” (Mark Steel)
“I tend to try and put a satirical spin on events, but when you see the deceit, the incompetence, the unabashed betrayal of all our futures by David Davis, what can you say?” (David Schneider)
“So Jared Kushner was essentially working for Israel, Michael Flynn was working for Turkey, Paul Manafort was working for Ukraine, and Donald Trump was working for Russia. But hey, ‘America First’, right?” (Keith Boykin, CNN)
Ivan- Administrator (Correspondence & Recruitment)
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oftenwrong- Sage
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Re: Favourite 'tweets'
by Ivan Tue Dec 12, 2017 10:16 pm
Philip Davies bemoaning austerity has all the sincerity of Bernard Matthews' concern for turkey welfare.
'Thick as mince' David Davis says that he doesn't have to be clever or know very much. Which is just as well in his case, although he still can't do his job.
“George Osborne launches appeal to raise money for a time machine to go back to 2010 and stop George Osborne imposing austerity.” (David Schneider)
As Vladimir Putin announces he's seeking re-election in 2018, world leaders congratulate him on his landslide victory.
Thank you to the halfwits who voted leave, you gave the monkeys machine guns.
After the attack on Jane Austen by Giles Coren, Andrea Leadsom is expected to invite her round for tea and sympathy later today.
If you don't need to be clever or know very much to be the Brexit secretary, why are we paying David Davis £141,505 a year? If he's right (which would be a first), anyone could do his job - and for a much smaller remuneration.
Commuters are left stranded as hundreds of train services are cancelled. And in areas where it has snowed it’s even worse.
Can a Brexiter kindly explain how, if you choose to leave the customs union and thereby make the Irish border a customs border, you can avoid customs controls?
David Davis says the deal struck by Theresa May to move to the next phase of talks was neither "legally enforceable" nor “binding”. Rather like the EU referendum then?
“It’s a stormy night. You’re driving on a dirt track. There are bumps, potholes everywhere. It gets worse till you’re in this thick forest and there’s no track at all, just ditches and trees. Do you turn back? If you don't, congratulations, you’re a Brexiter.” (David Schneider)
After the plot to kill Theresa May was exposed, police announce that because of Tory cuts they no longer have the resources to interview all 40 million suspects.
'Thick as mince' David Davis says that he doesn't have to be clever or know very much. Which is just as well in his case, although he still can't do his job.
“George Osborne launches appeal to raise money for a time machine to go back to 2010 and stop George Osborne imposing austerity.” (David Schneider)
As Vladimir Putin announces he's seeking re-election in 2018, world leaders congratulate him on his landslide victory.
Thank you to the halfwits who voted leave, you gave the monkeys machine guns.
After the attack on Jane Austen by Giles Coren, Andrea Leadsom is expected to invite her round for tea and sympathy later today.
If you don't need to be clever or know very much to be the Brexit secretary, why are we paying David Davis £141,505 a year? If he's right (which would be a first), anyone could do his job - and for a much smaller remuneration.
Commuters are left stranded as hundreds of train services are cancelled. And in areas where it has snowed it’s even worse.
Can a Brexiter kindly explain how, if you choose to leave the customs union and thereby make the Irish border a customs border, you can avoid customs controls?
David Davis says the deal struck by Theresa May to move to the next phase of talks was neither "legally enforceable" nor “binding”. Rather like the EU referendum then?
“It’s a stormy night. You’re driving on a dirt track. There are bumps, potholes everywhere. It gets worse till you’re in this thick forest and there’s no track at all, just ditches and trees. Do you turn back? If you don't, congratulations, you’re a Brexiter.” (David Schneider)
After the plot to kill Theresa May was exposed, police announce that because of Tory cuts they no longer have the resources to interview all 40 million suspects.
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Re: Favourite 'tweets'
by oftenwrong Wed Dec 13, 2017 7:45 pm
"Great win for Parliament. Huge error by Government. To push to vote and to lose. Whips lost control or can't count." (Harriet Harman)
oftenwrong- Sage
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Re: Favourite 'tweets'
by Ivan Sun Dec 17, 2017 6:03 pm
Theresa May leaves the House of Commons at a world record pace after borrowing Chris Froome's inhaler.
If King's College Hospital has to be put in special measures for missing 'deficit reduction targets', shouldn't the same thing happen to our Tory government?
Donald Trump calls for tighter controls as it emerges that an interstellar asteroid may have entered the Solar System illegally.
“We are ensuring that, within three weeks, people will be re-housed so they have a home to go to.” (Theresa May, after the Grenfell Tower fire)
Gisela Stuart used her EU rights to come here and help to stop others having the same opportunities.
“Oh gawd, for the 4th and 5th Tests can we play something other than cricket, such as pass the parcel, to give ourselves an outside chance?” (Mark Steel)
In Theresa May's nasty party watching porn at your desk is OK, misleading Parliament is OK too, indeed the PM can openly lie to Parliament as well. However, if MPs votes with their conscience they are called "traitors" by their colleagues.
Nigel Farage hates the EU, but he is happy to receive a £75,000 pension payout each year for the rest of his life - and from the same taxpayers to whom he constantly lied.
"Etonians not Romanians got us to where we are today." (Shami Chakrabarti)
Such disrespect. Theresa May sat in the front row of the Grenfell Tower memorial service after she spent £1.5bn to save her own job, yet six months on 75% of the survivors are still homeless.
“Farage, take your German passport, f-off to Russia and await further instructions, you toad-faced traitor.” (Mitch Benn)
As Roy Moore demands a recount in Alabama, prosecutors confirm that the number of women making allegations of sexual misconduct against him is definitely eight.
“Sadly, Britain does the best memorials for those who die from the indifference of those in power or those with wealth.” (Harry Leslie Smith)
If UK sovereignty had really been transferred to the EU, how would we be able to leave? I'm sure the Catalans would like to know.
If King's College Hospital has to be put in special measures for missing 'deficit reduction targets', shouldn't the same thing happen to our Tory government?
Donald Trump calls for tighter controls as it emerges that an interstellar asteroid may have entered the Solar System illegally.
“We are ensuring that, within three weeks, people will be re-housed so they have a home to go to.” (Theresa May, after the Grenfell Tower fire)
Gisela Stuart used her EU rights to come here and help to stop others having the same opportunities.
“Oh gawd, for the 4th and 5th Tests can we play something other than cricket, such as pass the parcel, to give ourselves an outside chance?” (Mark Steel)
In Theresa May's nasty party watching porn at your desk is OK, misleading Parliament is OK too, indeed the PM can openly lie to Parliament as well. However, if MPs votes with their conscience they are called "traitors" by their colleagues.
Nigel Farage hates the EU, but he is happy to receive a £75,000 pension payout each year for the rest of his life - and from the same taxpayers to whom he constantly lied.
"Etonians not Romanians got us to where we are today." (Shami Chakrabarti)
Such disrespect. Theresa May sat in the front row of the Grenfell Tower memorial service after she spent £1.5bn to save her own job, yet six months on 75% of the survivors are still homeless.
“Farage, take your German passport, f-off to Russia and await further instructions, you toad-faced traitor.” (Mitch Benn)
As Roy Moore demands a recount in Alabama, prosecutors confirm that the number of women making allegations of sexual misconduct against him is definitely eight.
“Sadly, Britain does the best memorials for those who die from the indifference of those in power or those with wealth.” (Harry Leslie Smith)
If UK sovereignty had really been transferred to the EU, how would we be able to leave? I'm sure the Catalans would like to know.
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Re: Favourite 'tweets'
by Ivan Tue Dec 19, 2017 12:10 pm
Lord Heseltine causes confusion after saying that hard Brexiteers have betrayed the achievements of Conservative governments, as everyone tries to remember what those were.
The NHS launches an app designed at reducing waiting times, although you’ll have to wait six months for it to download.
What have we come to, that people who stand up for what they believe is right for the country get called "traitors" just because they differ from the 'Mail' and 'Express' line? Brexit is like dealing with a cult rather than engaging in political debate.
It is annoying that in a democracy two idiots can outvote a genius. Plato said democracy is only as good as the education system surrounding it.
Jill Stein supporters rue Al Franken’s imminent resignation, as hopes of a Franken/Stein 2020 election ticket are dashed.
“May wants 'the Brexit people voted for'. That’s the one that gives the NHS £350m a week, a hard Brexit but also a soft one which won’t make us poorer, staying in the single market and leaving it, and getting rid of all immigrants but not all of them.” (David Schneider)
Tories "make work pay" by making the unemployed destitute. Tories like poverty, because it helps to drive down wages.
Iain Duncan Smith says UK business will “have to get by” with harder trade after Brexit. I don’t remember seeing that on the side of a bus.
David Cameron takes on a UK-China investment role, presumably because he thinks he’ll “be good at it”. The bloke who made the most catastrophic misjudgement in modern UK history is rewarded with a nice little earner.
Brexit is small thinking. Why settle for getting “your” country back (hint: it’s never been your country, but that of your ruling class) when you can unite with decent people worldwide to get your planet back?
HMS Queen Elizabeth is leaking like a sieve, the £3.1 billion colander. Perhaps it should be renamed HMS Brexit?
"Trump is an enigma: loved by the KKK and Christians, when he seems like the ultimate argument both against white supremacy and for abortion." (Frankie Boyle)
The NHS launches an app designed at reducing waiting times, although you’ll have to wait six months for it to download.
What have we come to, that people who stand up for what they believe is right for the country get called "traitors" just because they differ from the 'Mail' and 'Express' line? Brexit is like dealing with a cult rather than engaging in political debate.
It is annoying that in a democracy two idiots can outvote a genius. Plato said democracy is only as good as the education system surrounding it.
Jill Stein supporters rue Al Franken’s imminent resignation, as hopes of a Franken/Stein 2020 election ticket are dashed.
“May wants 'the Brexit people voted for'. That’s the one that gives the NHS £350m a week, a hard Brexit but also a soft one which won’t make us poorer, staying in the single market and leaving it, and getting rid of all immigrants but not all of them.” (David Schneider)
Tories "make work pay" by making the unemployed destitute. Tories like poverty, because it helps to drive down wages.
Iain Duncan Smith says UK business will “have to get by” with harder trade after Brexit. I don’t remember seeing that on the side of a bus.
David Cameron takes on a UK-China investment role, presumably because he thinks he’ll “be good at it”. The bloke who made the most catastrophic misjudgement in modern UK history is rewarded with a nice little earner.
Brexit is small thinking. Why settle for getting “your” country back (hint: it’s never been your country, but that of your ruling class) when you can unite with decent people worldwide to get your planet back?
HMS Queen Elizabeth is leaking like a sieve, the £3.1 billion colander. Perhaps it should be renamed HMS Brexit?
"Trump is an enigma: loved by the KKK and Christians, when he seems like the ultimate argument both against white supremacy and for abortion." (Frankie Boyle)
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Re: Favourite 'tweets'
by Ivan Fri Dec 22, 2017 12:18 am
When Damian Green encouraged Home Office leaks and had his office raided, that was Speaker Martin's fault. When he "plausibly" harassed a woman, she was vilified by Andrew Pierce. When he's caught lying, blame the police. What happened to the Tory notion of personal responsibility?
“We’re told Brexit is the biggest issue to hit the UK since World War Two. So why is it in the hands of a minority government and a party, the DUP, that doesn’t even reflect the majority views of Northern Ireland?” (Armando Iannucci)
Donald Trump has absolutely no redeeming qualities. How anyone can look at him with anything other than disgust is baffling.
“Here's something to frighten the children. After dark tomorrow, John Redwood is to give a Christmas fairy tale reading to the Bow Group.” (Polly Toynbee)
Damian Green has been sacked for misleading the public, so why does David Davis still have a job?
“Fascism in Europe never starts with mass killings, it starts with the normalisation of hatred.” (Brendan Cox)
Theresa May bizarrely describes Budget 2017 as a success. It downgraded economic growth, downgraded wage growth, downgraded business investment and downgraded productivity growth. What would failure look like?
“It must be marvellous being Elton John. He can sit at the piano and play ‘Step Into Christmas’ whenever he likes, instead of being restricted to hearing it only 15 times a day between November 6th and Christmas like the rest of us.” (Mark Steel)
People who live in glass houses. In 2006, Damian Green told a civil servant to get “as much dirt on the Labour Party, the government, as possible” and encouraged leaks of Home Office documents. Had he not done so, the porn on his computer would probably never have been found.
“Unfortunately most people listened to Gove, Boris and Farage, a triumvirate of egotistical fools whose combined ambition far outweighed their combined talents.” (Fiona Phillips)
It turns out David Davis was lying again when he said he would resign if Damian Green was sacked for lying.
“Trump is like a fat bee bashing around inside a greenhouse repeatedly failing to understand why the world doesn’t work as he thought it did, and the chances of this unrepentant lunatic starting World War III are surely very high.” (Frankie Boyle)
When I saw Tunbridge Wells trending on Twitter, I feared that the town's prolific complainant 'Disgusted' might have died.
“Where we’re at: The EU starts proceedings against Poland for undermining democracy, human rights and the rule of law. Theresa May heads to Poland with Hammond and Johnson to woo them over Brexit.” (David Schneider)
Why doesn't Theresa May ask the police to investigate Damian Green's allegation that someone else downloaded porn onto his work computer and watched it in his office, instead of threatening the policeman who leaked the story?
Jeremy Hunt says the NHS has "a very big problem". Yes, it's called Jeremy Hunt and it's this big.....
“Damian Green has nothing to apologise for, or answer for.” (Jacob Rees-Mogg)
It's hardly surprising that Theresa May's wretched government is to update sex education classes. It will probably cover topics like sexting, online porn, prostitution and everything else children might need to become a Tory MP.
“We’re told Brexit is the biggest issue to hit the UK since World War Two. So why is it in the hands of a minority government and a party, the DUP, that doesn’t even reflect the majority views of Northern Ireland?” (Armando Iannucci)
Donald Trump has absolutely no redeeming qualities. How anyone can look at him with anything other than disgust is baffling.
“Here's something to frighten the children. After dark tomorrow, John Redwood is to give a Christmas fairy tale reading to the Bow Group.” (Polly Toynbee)
Damian Green has been sacked for misleading the public, so why does David Davis still have a job?
“Fascism in Europe never starts with mass killings, it starts with the normalisation of hatred.” (Brendan Cox)
Theresa May bizarrely describes Budget 2017 as a success. It downgraded economic growth, downgraded wage growth, downgraded business investment and downgraded productivity growth. What would failure look like?
“It must be marvellous being Elton John. He can sit at the piano and play ‘Step Into Christmas’ whenever he likes, instead of being restricted to hearing it only 15 times a day between November 6th and Christmas like the rest of us.” (Mark Steel)
People who live in glass houses. In 2006, Damian Green told a civil servant to get “as much dirt on the Labour Party, the government, as possible” and encouraged leaks of Home Office documents. Had he not done so, the porn on his computer would probably never have been found.
“Unfortunately most people listened to Gove, Boris and Farage, a triumvirate of egotistical fools whose combined ambition far outweighed their combined talents.” (Fiona Phillips)
It turns out David Davis was lying again when he said he would resign if Damian Green was sacked for lying.
“Trump is like a fat bee bashing around inside a greenhouse repeatedly failing to understand why the world doesn’t work as he thought it did, and the chances of this unrepentant lunatic starting World War III are surely very high.” (Frankie Boyle)
When I saw Tunbridge Wells trending on Twitter, I feared that the town's prolific complainant 'Disgusted' might have died.
“Where we’re at: The EU starts proceedings against Poland for undermining democracy, human rights and the rule of law. Theresa May heads to Poland with Hammond and Johnson to woo them over Brexit.” (David Schneider)
Why doesn't Theresa May ask the police to investigate Damian Green's allegation that someone else downloaded porn onto his work computer and watched it in his office, instead of threatening the policeman who leaked the story?
Jeremy Hunt says the NHS has "a very big problem". Yes, it's called Jeremy Hunt and it's this big.....
“Damian Green has nothing to apologise for, or answer for.” (Jacob Rees-Mogg)
It's hardly surprising that Theresa May's wretched government is to update sex education classes. It will probably cover topics like sexting, online porn, prostitution and everything else children might need to become a Tory MP.
Ivan- Administrator (Correspondence & Recruitment)
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Re: Favourite 'tweets'
by Ivan Sat Dec 23, 2017 11:58 pm
“Stalin called those who disagreed with him ‘enemies of the people’, Trump calls them ‘fake news’, here they’re branded ‘treacherous malcontents’. Spot the trend?” (Armando Iannucci)
Boris Johnson has told the Russians that their interference in Western democracies “has not been successful”. That’s a bizarre thing to say, given the Russians helped to get Brexit to undermine the EU and Trump the man-child in the White House.
“Joe Root has been soft and looks like a little boy.” (Ricky Ponting)
For anyone tuning in to watch Everton play Chelsea and not knowing which team is which. Everton players are wearing the passport blue shirts.
Jeremy Hunt on Damian Green: “How committed he was throughout his whole career to the most vulnerable in society.” Yeah, that must be why he’s a Tory.
Spare a thought for Putin being admonished by Boris Johnson. Will Vlad be able to keep a straight face?
“The freedom elites seek to reclaim is their own freedom from the rule of law, which is something which they have been trained as a class to feel above.” (Frankie Boyle)
Inspired by the proponents of blue passports, I've decided not to give my family Christmas presents this year, just a piece of wrapping paper in their favourite colour.
"One interpretation from several commentators is that sacking Damian Green 'proves Theresa May is strong'. If this is true, she should sack all of them and prove she’s bloody almighty." (Mark Steel)
Happy Birthday to David Davis. Wonder if he'll spend the day chilling out and relaxing, or will he do something different to the other 364 days of the year?
Boris Johnson has told the Russians that their interference in Western democracies “has not been successful”. That’s a bizarre thing to say, given the Russians helped to get Brexit to undermine the EU and Trump the man-child in the White House.
“Joe Root has been soft and looks like a little boy.” (Ricky Ponting)
For anyone tuning in to watch Everton play Chelsea and not knowing which team is which. Everton players are wearing the passport blue shirts.
Jeremy Hunt on Damian Green: “How committed he was throughout his whole career to the most vulnerable in society.” Yeah, that must be why he’s a Tory.
Spare a thought for Putin being admonished by Boris Johnson. Will Vlad be able to keep a straight face?
“The freedom elites seek to reclaim is their own freedom from the rule of law, which is something which they have been trained as a class to feel above.” (Frankie Boyle)
Inspired by the proponents of blue passports, I've decided not to give my family Christmas presents this year, just a piece of wrapping paper in their favourite colour.
"One interpretation from several commentators is that sacking Damian Green 'proves Theresa May is strong'. If this is true, she should sack all of them and prove she’s bloody almighty." (Mark Steel)
Happy Birthday to David Davis. Wonder if he'll spend the day chilling out and relaxing, or will he do something different to the other 364 days of the year?
Ivan- Administrator (Correspondence & Recruitment)
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Re: Favourite 'tweets'
by Ivan Wed Dec 27, 2017 7:09 pm
"Boris Johnson shares with Trump more than a ridiculous hairstyle: both men are narcissists and blowhards whose character flaws make them unfit to hold high office." ('New Statesman' editorial)
Just heard about Theresa May's plan to drop her support for foxhunting. Not yet sure if this will also apply to disabled people.
“What future for Christmas after Brexit? Santa faces being held up by customs, elves no longer protected by the working time directive, reindeer no longer recognised as sentient beings, and their pet passports no longer valid for the UK.” (Richard Corbett MEP)
While Boris Johnson is stuffing his face over the festive season, will he spare a thought for Nazanin Zaghari-Ratcliffe, who might have been back in the UK by now if he hadn't once again opened his stupid fat mouth and put his foot in it?
Nick Clegg shouldn't get a knighthood for his role in cheerleading the Tories from 2010 to 2015, but perhaps he merits one for royally pissing off the bovine halfwits who worship Nigel Farage.
“A man, naked, hungry and alone in the middle of the Sahara Desert is free in the sense that no one can tell him what to do. He is sovereign, then. But he is also doomed.” (Chris Patten)
The problems that prompted many people to vote Leave are real and the causes are complex, but their solutions never lay in a binary in/out referendum. The leaders of the Leave campaign never wanted to solve their problems, they just wanted to capitalise on their suffering.
"Those of us who have been critical of neoliberal globalisation have always pointed out that we have the free movement of goods, commodities and capital - but not of people." (Yanis Varoufakis)
Boris Johnson has promised to do what he can to help Laura Plummer. Oh dear. Once that fat-faced oaf has demonstrated his usual tact and diplomacy, her sentence will probably be doubled.
"You have to hand it to America: when they said anybody can be president, they really did mean anybody. Even Donald Trump, a man who looks like God twisted some haemorrhoids into a balloon animal." (Frankie Boyle)
Just heard about Theresa May's plan to drop her support for foxhunting. Not yet sure if this will also apply to disabled people.
“What future for Christmas after Brexit? Santa faces being held up by customs, elves no longer protected by the working time directive, reindeer no longer recognised as sentient beings, and their pet passports no longer valid for the UK.” (Richard Corbett MEP)
While Boris Johnson is stuffing his face over the festive season, will he spare a thought for Nazanin Zaghari-Ratcliffe, who might have been back in the UK by now if he hadn't once again opened his stupid fat mouth and put his foot in it?
Nick Clegg shouldn't get a knighthood for his role in cheerleading the Tories from 2010 to 2015, but perhaps he merits one for royally pissing off the bovine halfwits who worship Nigel Farage.
“A man, naked, hungry and alone in the middle of the Sahara Desert is free in the sense that no one can tell him what to do. He is sovereign, then. But he is also doomed.” (Chris Patten)
The problems that prompted many people to vote Leave are real and the causes are complex, but their solutions never lay in a binary in/out referendum. The leaders of the Leave campaign never wanted to solve their problems, they just wanted to capitalise on their suffering.
"Those of us who have been critical of neoliberal globalisation have always pointed out that we have the free movement of goods, commodities and capital - but not of people." (Yanis Varoufakis)
Boris Johnson has promised to do what he can to help Laura Plummer. Oh dear. Once that fat-faced oaf has demonstrated his usual tact and diplomacy, her sentence will probably be doubled.
"You have to hand it to America: when they said anybody can be president, they really did mean anybody. Even Donald Trump, a man who looks like God twisted some haemorrhoids into a balloon animal." (Frankie Boyle)
Ivan- Administrator (Correspondence & Recruitment)
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Re: Favourite 'tweets'
by boatlady Thu Dec 28, 2017 8:05 pm
The problems that prompted many people to vote Leave are real and the causes are complex, but their solutions never lay in a binary in/out referendum. The leaders of the Leave campaign never wanted to solve their problems, they just wanted to capitalise on their suffering.
yes - I think many of us have been saying that
yes - I think many of us have been saying that
boatlady- Former Moderator
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Re: Favourite 'tweets'
by oftenwrong Thu Dec 28, 2017 10:44 pm
An intriguing tweet today points out that Sunday is a unique date, inasmuch as every adult on that day would have been born in the 20th. Century, whilst everyone who has not yet become adult must have been born in the 21st. C.
It's also the last day for posting on Cutting Edge.
Heavy !
It's also the last day for posting on Cutting Edge.
Heavy !
oftenwrong- Sage
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boatlady- Former Moderator
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Re: Favourite 'tweets'
by Ivan Sat Dec 30, 2017 10:09 pm
The idea that Nigel Farage merits an award in the New Year Honours is as daft as the head of the Luftwaffe getting the freedom of Coventry.
50 Tory MPs want a lottery to fund a new royal yacht. Think about that when you see some poor soul sleeping in a doorway in sub-zero temperatures because this useless government is incapable or unwilling to build council homes.
“When negotiating, you need to make sure you're absolutely trustworthy, that your word is your bond. In unrelated news, David Davis who said he'd resign if Damian Green was sacked, isn't going to resign.” (David Schneider)
Football referee Martin Atkinson has dished out more cards than my nan in the run up to Christmas.
“Brexit is a dangerous populist and nationalist spasm worthy of Donald Trump. After the narrow referendum vote, a form of associate membership of the EU might have been attempted without rupturing Britain's key trading and political alliances." (Andrew Adonis)
740,000 people attend C of E services out of a population of 66.37 million, that's 1.1%. So why is there so much news coverage when an archbishop says something or when a new bishop is appointed to this irrelevant fringe? And why are there still bishops in the House of Lords?
Norman Tebbit calls for Michael Heseltine to have the party whip withdrawn for suggesting that a Jeremy Corbyn-led Labour government might do less damage to the country than Brexit. Only a year ago Tebbit was saying he wouldn’t blame Tories for voting for UKIP.
"Donald Trump moves like a walrus on a Segway." (Frankie Boyle)
How much does smoking cost the NHS? While this hypocritical government campaigns against obesity and sugar, Tory and DUP MPs wine and dine lobbyists from the tobacco industry.
“I know Farage dislikes career politicians, as he’s been trying to climb the greasy pole for 20 years. Maybe I’ve just been more successful at it.” (Jess Phillips)
50 Tory MPs want a lottery to fund a new royal yacht. Think about that when you see some poor soul sleeping in a doorway in sub-zero temperatures because this useless government is incapable or unwilling to build council homes.
“When negotiating, you need to make sure you're absolutely trustworthy, that your word is your bond. In unrelated news, David Davis who said he'd resign if Damian Green was sacked, isn't going to resign.” (David Schneider)
Football referee Martin Atkinson has dished out more cards than my nan in the run up to Christmas.
“Brexit is a dangerous populist and nationalist spasm worthy of Donald Trump. After the narrow referendum vote, a form of associate membership of the EU might have been attempted without rupturing Britain's key trading and political alliances." (Andrew Adonis)
740,000 people attend C of E services out of a population of 66.37 million, that's 1.1%. So why is there so much news coverage when an archbishop says something or when a new bishop is appointed to this irrelevant fringe? And why are there still bishops in the House of Lords?
Norman Tebbit calls for Michael Heseltine to have the party whip withdrawn for suggesting that a Jeremy Corbyn-led Labour government might do less damage to the country than Brexit. Only a year ago Tebbit was saying he wouldn’t blame Tories for voting for UKIP.
"Donald Trump moves like a walrus on a Segway." (Frankie Boyle)
How much does smoking cost the NHS? While this hypocritical government campaigns against obesity and sugar, Tory and DUP MPs wine and dine lobbyists from the tobacco industry.
“I know Farage dislikes career politicians, as he’s been trying to climb the greasy pole for 20 years. Maybe I’ve just been more successful at it.” (Jess Phillips)
Ivan- Administrator (Correspondence & Recruitment)
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Re: Favourite 'tweets'
by boatlady Sat Dec 30, 2017 10:50 pm
“I know Farage dislikes career politicians, as he’s been trying to climb the greasy pole for 20 years. Maybe I’ve just been more successful at it.” (Jess Phillips)
pot
kettle
words fail me
pot
kettle
words fail me
boatlady- Former Moderator
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Location : Norfolk
Re: Favourite 'tweets'
by Ivan Sun Dec 31, 2017 11:56 am
Nigel Farage hoping to get something in the New Year Honours is akin to Donald Trump expecting to win an award for the most natural looking spray tan.
“Our new aircraft carrier is leaking like a sieve and has no planes, while every other warship is in dock for ongoing repairs. Practically our only seaworthy vessels are a couple of inflatable dinghies in the Med.” (John Crace)
The spin campaign to position Prince Harry as kind and cuddly overlooks his countless hunting expeditions killing wild boar, deer and stags. For Harry's 27th birthday, William bought 250 sacrificial pheasants, ducks and partridges for a bloodthirsty shooting party.
Andrew Adonis to Theresa May: You have become the voice of UKIP and the extreme nationalist right-wing of your party.”
Brextremists frequently complain about “the shackles of the EU”, which gave us access to the largest free trade area in the world and the benefit of 73 other trade agreements, shackles which allowed us to opt out of the euro and Schengen.
“The only way to stop Harry Kane from scoring is put him in an England team in a World Cup.” (Mark Steel)
Although Nigel Farage has missed out on a knighthood, at least he will always be a CBE. A Complete Bell End.
"In a war of words you do not want to be on Trump’s side: he speaks like he’s on shuffle and has a smaller vocabulary than an upturned calculator." (Frankie Boyle)
Can someone tweet the benefits of Brexit, please? 280 characters should be more than enough.
And finally.......
“Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world.” (Nelson Mandela)
“Our new aircraft carrier is leaking like a sieve and has no planes, while every other warship is in dock for ongoing repairs. Practically our only seaworthy vessels are a couple of inflatable dinghies in the Med.” (John Crace)
The spin campaign to position Prince Harry as kind and cuddly overlooks his countless hunting expeditions killing wild boar, deer and stags. For Harry's 27th birthday, William bought 250 sacrificial pheasants, ducks and partridges for a bloodthirsty shooting party.
Andrew Adonis to Theresa May: You have become the voice of UKIP and the extreme nationalist right-wing of your party.”
Brextremists frequently complain about “the shackles of the EU”, which gave us access to the largest free trade area in the world and the benefit of 73 other trade agreements, shackles which allowed us to opt out of the euro and Schengen.
“The only way to stop Harry Kane from scoring is put him in an England team in a World Cup.” (Mark Steel)
Although Nigel Farage has missed out on a knighthood, at least he will always be a CBE. A Complete Bell End.
"In a war of words you do not want to be on Trump’s side: he speaks like he’s on shuffle and has a smaller vocabulary than an upturned calculator." (Frankie Boyle)
Can someone tweet the benefits of Brexit, please? 280 characters should be more than enough.
And finally.......
“Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world.” (Nelson Mandela)
Ivan- Administrator (Correspondence & Recruitment)
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Re: Favourite 'tweets'
by Phil Hornby Sun Dec 31, 2017 1:06 pm
It's always been a great read , Ivan - thanks for everything!
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boatlady- Former Moderator
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