Is it possible to find true love on the internet?

Posted on May 14, 2012


LOVE ON THE EDGE

There are those of us non-believers who would encourage you to get your head tested for even mentioning such a ridiculous notion. Falling in love with someone you have never met, how absurd! Oops…I did!!!

What’s more at the time I fell hook, line and sinker, I’d barely glanced at his face, and would have easily bypassed him in the street! Hands up, confession time; I fell for his mind. His sharp wit and direct approach were suddenly a match for my own, in fact he challenged me which stirred something deep inside that I can honestly say I have never felt before. Me the crazy Welsh blonde who spent her life avoiding the follies of love, was now totally drawn to this dark character and I mean dark…

There are always the inevitable drawbacks to internet relationships. You can reign free with your identity or you could just create it and once the latter has begun how then can you begin to explain yourself and your mundane existence. From Secret Agent to dog groomer or luscious lady to aging spinster…doh! So word of warning guys, be you but just add a little mystery!

There are also those that trawl the internet seeking victims, yes victims and they are sooh easy to find. Us Brits are made up of select groups, those who wear their hearts on their sleeves and those who are set to abuse the ones that do. Whether for money, marriage or sexual gratification, please be aware that when someone appears to be too good to be true then they normally are acting out of self purpose and your feelings don’t count.

So back to me, and we all like a little intrigue right… and you are all wondering who Mr Dark is? And if we actually got together and whether we are having a wild and passionate relationship? Yet I’m sure you will also be aware from my previous blogs that I never kiss and tell…

If you are lucky enough to meet someone genuine then I have actually come to believe the internet is a wonderful place, simply because its your mind that’s on offer, unless of course you rely on half-naked photos or promoting your wealth…not a good idea! You exchange thoughts, humour and songs. And you listen like you never did whilst you were knocking back the alcopops and battling against the dramatic reverberations of Goyte on the eardrums!

As for Mr Dark! Where did I meet him, was it Twitter or perhaps a select and interesting forum named ‘Cutting Edge’, I’m sure you can work it out! How did he earn himself that name? Well he’s polite yet opinionated at first, then scratch the surface and he’s a seductive sort with an undeniable force that renders even ice-maidens desperate wrecks seeking his touch!

Of course not all relationships work out and unfortunately some turn to the internet yet again to ply their revenge. Like all good things in life there is risk, for me falling in love is the biggest risk of all but whilst I encourage you to throw caution to the wind and charm the person of your dreams with your intellect, I also urge you to let others know of your movements, think twice before handing over anything of value and marriage is something that should never be rushed, no matter what the reasoning. If love is true then all they want is you!

Is it Possible to Find True Love on the Internet? by Misti



Sheesh!

Is it Possible to Find True Love on the Internet?

What's the problem? It seems like a fair question, and many relationships have started on the internet. Is it possible to fall in love with someone you've never met? Perhaps it is.

There is no requirement that every subject discussed on this forum has to be political or religious. Nothing legal is off limits, and we want to appeal to as many people as possible in order to maintain a viable active membership.

If you don't like the young lady's blog, just don't read it. It's only one of 31 boards on the forum.

But a repeat of something already posted earlier. I'm not sure I'll live long enough for the next repetitive "posting" of something we've already had an opportunity to read if we had wanted to.

Next week: What I did on my holidays. With FREE knitting pattern.

OW,

First of all, I don't recall seeing a similar posting. Perhaps there is one somewhere, but it must not be anywhere on the board I frequent with any regularity.

Secondly, I would ask that you be more aware of how you sound to others when it comes to criticizing what people decide to post about. I recall you reacting in a similar fashion to something Blamhappy posted, and she hasn't posted anywhere since. Coincidence? Perhaps, but I doubt it.

We need people to post, and if people feel they will be moderated by "unofficial" moderators, I can see why newer people may just throw up their hands, say "eff it," and leave. Please be a part of our welcoming committee instead of a border patrol agent.

Thanks in advance.

I think you are entitled to your opinion and I'd like to hear it, please? I dont claim to have all the answers, I simply have a view like yourself, so I request you to reveal yours... Misti xx

Greetings, Misti:

On the issue of internet love affairs, well, I've been involved in two, so far, as well as a few long-distance relationships. My experience with it says it doesn't work. Not in the long run. Granted there are a lot of internet match making services here in the US, and they will brag to the nines about how 1 in 5 marriages began with the internet. That may be true. However, obviously if you sign up for eHarmony.com (a well known match making service here), you wouldn't search for someone who lives on the other side of the country. These kinds of services allow you to stay local, and if they are local, then it really isn't an "internet romance." It would be pretty silly if you found someone online who lives in your city ... and never met up.

I know you can fall in love with someone online, even if you never see a picture. But whether that relationship really goes anywhere or not, well, that's another ball of wax. Sooner or later, you're going to want more than the written word. It may move to telephone calls eventually. But that won't be enough, either. You'll want the physical closeness, the hugs, the kisses, the romantic walks, the candle lit dinners, the trips to the movies. The internet cannot prevent loneliness, but it can fool you into thinking it has ... for awhile.

Sooner or later, the inevitable issue has to be tackled: If there is to be a lasting relationship, it has to take place in the physical world. Someone will have to give up everything and relocate to where the other person is. That means quitting a career, leaving behind friends and family, perhaps selling possessions, leaving a familiar and secure setting, even possibly having to tear kids out of their school and move them, as well. That's something that most people simply aren't willing to do, not even for love. They may say they are willing, but when actually faced with the decision, things change in a hurry.

In my case, the only way my "relationship" could blossom was for one of us to move to a different country. I wanted it to be him because I had already lived in 4 different countries and I was rather tired of it. He wanted me to move because I should be used to moving and understand the process of immigration. Well, that bottlenecked rather quickly and fizzled.

Then there is the problem of deception. I don't even mean deliberate deception. Here's another case file from my own history. I met a guy online while playing a video game. I was still in college and so was he, but he was graduating in a year. He lived in Long Island, NY, and I was living in Pennsylvania, so while it was a long and tedious trip, it could be done. The problem was that he was very charismatic and popular online. Everyone loved him, and when word got out that he and I had a "thing," I was even sent death threats by other women on the game! However, in real life, the guy was a dud. Boring and self-absorbed. He had few social skills and the attention span of a small child. He moved in with me in Pennsylvania after he graduated ... and I found out quickly that he couldn't hold down a job; he was fired three separate times. Eventually, even the temp agencies wouldn't touch him. I'm guessing it was because of those horrible social skills that wrecked our relationship. Even my friends stopped coming around, and they told me point blank after he finally left, "I didn't visit because I just didn't like him."

He wasn't deliberately deceptive. He didn't lie about his appearance, his money, or any thing like that. But on the internet, he thrived. In the real world, well, not so much. It rendered a false portrait of who he really was. The internet allowed him to break through certain social barriers that were always in place in the real world. Again, he never lied about anything. He was just a different person in the physical world.

I don't mean to reject internet relationships as a viable way to fall in love. However, unless that person is local and you are able to meet up a few times before really letting down your guard, you can really screw yourself and waste a lot of time on a loser.

I am curious though, who Mr. Dark is ... and whether he is from this forum. I'm even more curious to know just what is so "dark" about him. I hope he's not pulling something on you. The internet is full of weirdos and nutters. Just be careful.

Quote : "The internet is full of weirdos and nutters. Just be careful."
Shirina

(tpartydelights.com)

" I am saying nothing until I've spoken with my solicitor..."

Thankyou all for your comments, I welcome all good and bad... Life is full of weirdos and nutters but also some truly genuine people. Again it appears I have created some interest with regards to the identity of a character from my blog. All I can say is that as a writer I like to merge fact with fantasy and though parts of my blog are undeniably true, I tend to sometimes lead you down a path that you all like to peruse...fantasy!!! So, no revelations guys, its not my style...

Well, I'm expecting a baby with a man I met online.

Wahey!

Oh congratulations!!! You are the second one so far who has come forward with their internet love story that has resulted in the patter of tiny feet!!! ohhh...xx

It's not really a love story. It all went wrong actually, but it's too much to explain in one post on here! But, yes, I will be having a baby in November, and it is the product of an internet romance.

The girl I work with met her boyfriend online and they now live together. I'd say that's a love story. It definitely happens.

I don't believe anyone can find true love on the internet. Many people form a 'relationship', many find themselves attracted to their contact, and believe they're in love.
True love is not a physical thing, it is not just an attraction of one to another.
Regrettably many find this out too late.

True love is not really definable. It varies with personality. It only comes over time, and personal contact also over time. It is sharing each others interests, (not necessarily taking part but understanding), tolerance of each others faults and caring/sharing in difficult times.

Oh, and I found out the hard way too. That's why I have chosen to live alone for 20 years.

Hi Trevor, We all have our different opinions on 'true love'. I am sorry that you found out the hard way... Seems such a waste of 20 years though. Life is about taking chances, whether in your career or personal life, to move forward and find a fulfilling way of life you sometimes have to hit several pitfalls. I have spent too many years in a relationship that never really began for exactly the same reason as yours in avoiding them. It was safe and he couldnt hurt me, then you wake up one day and realise that you have been hurting yourself all along...

See there is no simple route and no right way. Be it internet or on a night out, they all have their risks and sometimes rewards...

Thankyou again Blamhappy!!! No matter where relationships stem from there is always the risk they will peter out and as you say, though on this occasion an internet relationship didnt work for you, it has for your friend ...

I don't believe anyone can find true love on the internet.

trevorw2539. I disagree, and your second post on the subject suggests you don’t want to find love anywhere, since you’re enjoying yourself as a single person.

Blamhappy’s friend seems to have proved you wrong. Although that relationship may not last, it has as much chance of doing so as meeting someone at work or down the pub. We’re all unique, and people are attracted by different things; some can see beyond the purely physical, which is a good idea, since looks tend to fade with the passing years.

If you see a relationship primarily in terms of a meeting of minds, then contact on the internet could be as good a place as any to start. That wouldn’t have done for Mae West though, who said: “Men aren’t attracted to me by my mind. They’re attracted by what I don’t mind.”

I will sacrifice my life to keep safe the woman I love. That’s not lust; that’s not romance. I could not have “found” this absolute committed-ness via an online “romance.”

You seem to be missing the point, Rock. You could have found (see the title of the thread) the person to give your "absolute committedness" to on the internet.

Ivan quote:-
trevorw2539. I disagree, and your second post on the subject suggests you don’t want to find love anywhere, since you’re enjoying yourself as a single person.

You're probably right as regards myself. My point is that you can meet someone on the internet. You do not fall in love with them. You may like them, 'fancy' them etc. but until you meet and share time you will not know that you love them.

Yes, people have found partners through the internet, not usually on the internet. As some have unfortunately found out, the person they have fallen in love with on the internet doesn't 'actually' exist.
Sometimes things work out, but not often as a life time relationship.

Perhaps the title should read 'Is it possible to find true love through the internet.'

I'm trying to come to terms with the idea of forming a relationship with someone who prefers to remain anonymous. Spooky. Akin to those ladies who propose marriage to convicted murderers on death row, perhaps?

Is it possible to find true love on the internet?


I suppose anything is possible, then again, maybe not, anyone ever tried shoveing an egg back after it as been laid.

she most likely would have spent little if any time on Internet “romance” sites.

Again you miss the point, Rock. Misti isn't referring to dating sites, she's talking about meeting people, and getting to like them, during general discussion on sites such as Twitter and forums such as this one!

I have another friend who has also found love online. It's the same as meeting in real life, so I don't understand the idea that it's not real...

s it possible to find true love on the internet?

It's like when I was an Ambulance Driver, way out on the "Heilands" Highlands of Scotland

When the Red Phone rang, you accepted someone was in a predicament.

The only way you knew the truthfullness of the caller is when you get to the location - it may have been a hoax, or it may be an all bells and whistles incident.

Dating Agencies make a lot of money by advertising on the internet.

So there you are - not everyone's out of work!

Lol!!! I like your style... Personally I have no intention of using a dating agency, I'll leave that to you... Love is not something you can go out and get, it happens when it does and how it chooses too... Simple as that!

Hey guys, we are all different. Life would be so mundane if there was a set formula. You have the right to refrain from romance on the internet, just as others have the right to take that chance. After all, love is an absolute risk, it can tear you apart, deceive you and humiliate you. Does that mean that you follow a set rule or better still dont bother at all??? xx

Just as much as I am a Parachute Virgin, (never dunnit!) I think I shall stay an Internet Monk!

Try as I might on ebay my specification just can't be found.

But I did notice a nice pair of curtains...

Rock, I totally accept your opinion because we all have differing ideas on what is acceptable. My view on internet relationships is up for scrutiny, I am not above making mistakes, in fact like any other human I am pretty good at doing just that! Okay, I fell in love on the internet with an an absolute intensity the likes of which I have never known... However, thanks to my untrusting mind I messed up the best opportunity I could ever have and the reason I know that is because I cant get him out of my head whilst he is the perfect gentleman and retains a discreet presence whilst jumping to my defence whenever I need him... xx

Phil Hornby wrote:Try as I might on ebay my specification just can't be found.

But I did notice a nice pair of curtains...

I like it... Such is life, the one thing you really and truly want is out of your price range...Doh!!! xx Lol

Billy Connelly -


"Life is just like pickin' yer nose - It's always the wee bit roond the corner that ye canna get yer finger on!"


ER Phil,



Just what kind of "Drawers" did you put on your specification??

I like Billy Connelly too!!! Lol... Erm 'Drawers????'..

On reflection, I may have been disadvantaged by my lack of knowledge on matters of on-line purchases. I simply typed in 'Crumpet' but little of value appeared...

That's cause you have chosen the wrong site's!!! Try the words, true/love/absolute belief/and commitment then take away the price tag because love doesnt have a price and you may be onto a winner... xx

I can only assume that people are randomly meeting others online, falling in love with them, and by a stroke of impossible odds, also finding out that they live in the same city. A few weeks ago, I was approached by some guy online ... didn't really know him from Adam and seemed rather desperate and lonely. Not my type, to be sure. However, when I asked where he was from, he said California. LOL! I think Britain is closer to me than California is. The point, though, is that I have never randomly met anyone online who lives in my city, and only a few who live in my state. I'm sure there are thousands, even tens of thousands, of online users who live in the same city as I do, but once you begin filtering ... everything from whether we use the same online software on down to whether he and I are compatible narrows the odds considerably.

One of the big issues with online relationships is the fantasy aspect. Many people will tell you that the idea of a relationship is often better than the real thing, and online relationships allows people to embrace that fantasy while having something tangible in the process. The longer the relationship stays "online," the more the fantasy builds until no mortal man (or woman) could ever hope to fulfill it. Any actual meet-up with the person will more often than not lead to disappointment.

I'm not saying that love online never works out - obviously it does. But you have less of a chance of making it work than you do with a person in close physical proximity.

I appreciate what you are saying but not all stories are the same. I have spoken to people who have confessed their love stories and I indeed have my own... though not an entirely happy ending but one which I would not want to have lived without! There is danger in everything we do but that's what makes us human. I try to emphasise the negatives as well as encourage hope... Sometimes love is hidden amongst the unlikeliest of baggage...xx