Favourite jokes

First topic message reminder :

The great Gramoldi

A stranger walked into a doctor's surgery. The doctor said what can I do for you?
Nothing really doctor,I just need someone to talk to.You see I have lost my sense of humour.
The doctor said I have been a GP for 40 years,that is the saddest thing I have ever heard.
Without a sense of humour life is not worth living.This my friend is your lucky day.I have something that will help you.
Thats good of you doctor said the the stranger but nothing can help me.
The doctor said I have here tickets for the circus that is visiting this town.
I know what you are trying to do doctor,but I am afraid it will not work.
The doctor said this is no ordinary circus,this is the circus that has the funnyiest clown that ever lived The Great Gramoldi.
No one can watch Gramaldi without splitting their sides laughing.
It is good of you doctor said the man,but it wont work because you see I am The Great Gramoldi.

My friend insists he witnessed this in a busy bar on Friday  night:  A customer pulled out a £50 note to pay for his round of drinks but the barman says, "Sorry we're not allowed to take £50 notes because there are so many forgeries around."

Customer then hands over two £25 notes.

A young monk arrives at a monastery. He is assigned to helping the other monks in copying the old canons and laws of the church by hand. He notices, however, that all of the monks are copying from copies, not from the original manuscript. So the new monk goes to the head abbot to question this, pointing out that if someone made even a small error in the first copy, it would never be picked up. In fact, that error would be continued in all of the subsequent copies.

The head monk says "we have been copying from the copies for centuries, but you make a good point, my son". He goes down into the dark caves underneath the monastery where the original manuscripts are held as archives in a locked vault that hasn't been opened for hundreds of years.

Hours go by and nobody sees the old abbot. So the young monk gets worried and goes down to look for him. He sees him banging his head against the wall and wailing "we missed the 'r', we missed the 'r'". His forehead is all bloody and bruised and he is crying uncontrollably. The young monk asks the old abbot "what's wrong, father?". With a choking voice, the old abbot replies "the word was... celebrate!"